He’d split up with his bird. Personally, I didn’t know what he saw in her in the first place. In my opinion, for what it’s worth, he was far too good for her. He could have anybody he wanted, Jez. He was so good-looking. In comparison she was really, really plain. I know that sounds proper shallow but apart from her looks she didn’t even have a nice personality. Well I didn’t think so. Obviously Jez thought so otherwise he wouldn’t have gone with her. But no, to me she was as dull as dish water and, well it’s not like she’d been beaten with the ugly stick a few times or nothing like that, but she just wasn’t pretty. Maybe I’m being biased coz like I proper fancied Jez, always had done and that bitch had been intimate with him whereas I hadn’t. There, now you know why I’m being so horrible about her. But anyway, none of that mattered now coz they’d split up. Now she was out of his life whereas I still had him as a friend. So there! We’d been mates for years, me and Jez, but it was not. You feel my feet contact either side of your head and are terrified when they don't stop. The pressure inexorably increases and you hear the blood rushing back into your head. The bones in your jaw snap and your eyes feel like they are about to pop out of their sockets at any second when you realize that I've stopped.You try to focus your vision on me but the pressure makes it impossible; the best you can make out is two fuzzy, beautiful, giants looking down at you with malice in their gaze. My mouth is moving but you can't hear anything because your ears are crushed between my feet.I move my feet away and you are just barely able to understand what I am saying. “Well, this has been fun but it’s time for me to go.” I see understanding register in your eyes and I rise from my chair.This necessitates the movement of my left foot in order to avoid falling down, but I keep my right foot firmly on your arm. As I get to my full height you are able to see up my skirt for what will end up.
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